Written by Ashton Deroy

Based on this post. Click here. I pitched a creative Writing project. Fictional blended with reality.

Characters:

Ashton Deroy. Which is me.

Fictional Character….

Shania Allen (Therapist… Sort of… Also a drunk. Cause of Unbreakable Kimmy schmidt ) The character is based on my brother’s character. I Doubt he uses her for anything anymore. I am going to re-draft her.

Setting Therapist office. Waiting for therapist. It is not classy. I am not seeing a certificate on the wall. I do not think she is licensed. Makes sense though… Ontario in real life is in a healthcare crisis. After 8 years of the Doug Ford Government? Everyone is broke. Healthcare is being slowly privatized. The Social Safety net is non-existent. May 27th 2026.

‘Man I am drunk.” Shania

I am on a bean bag chair. She for some reason has rolled in with a flask in hand on an office chair. With fans creatively attached? So that it looks like a very bad vehicle.

‘You’re my therapist?!” Ashton Deroy

‘Well Hollistic medicine practioner / Wal-Mart Sales sassociate.” Shania Allen.

‘What the hell does that mean?” Ashton Deroy

‘Hollistic medicine? I have no idea I think I made it up well I was drunk in the wal-mart parking lot. Picking a fight with a rude lady who tried returning a TV from Best buy to Wal-mart.” Shania Allen

‘Jesus does anyone in Belleville Ontario not drink?” Ashton Deroy

‘Religious people I think.” *Burps*

I am noticing she reeks of booze. Like she started drinking after work and did not stop. I don’t know how she got home. I don’t know why she does this? I am not 100% sure she owns the space we are in. She does look kind of ratty and insane.

‘So the receptionist tells me you had a homeless trauma.” Shania Allen.

‘You don’t have a receptionist. You drew a robot on a Etch and sketch then attached it to a manequin so it was eye level.” Ashton Deroy.

‘Can you afford quality healthcare?” Shania Allen

‘Not even slightly.” Ashton Deroy

“What did you do to survive or get through difficult times in the past?” Shania Allen.

‘Where did you get these questions?” Ashton Deroy

‘I robbed some dork at Queen’s University dipshit! Answer the question!” Shania Allen

‘ I stole from other homeless people, Got really fat and Screamed at my family online like a lunatic.” Ashton Deroy

‘I steal all the time.” Shania Allen.

‘Maybe I should go…. I think you are too drunk for this.” Ashton Deroy.

‘Now wait when were you homeless?” Shania Allen. As she prevents my exit by throwing herself in the doorway.

‘2019. During the Covid 19 Pandemic.” Ashton Deroy

‘Holy 🤬.”

‘Come back tomorrow. I will be sober……ish.” Shania Allen.

I exit but probably go back…. It’s not my first rodeo with another vaguely lucid person.

To be continued….

I go in May28th 2029. Shania Allen is cleaned up. It looks like a therapist office. With a couch, office chair appropriate furniture and an actual assistant.

‘Danielle Please bring me and the client a teapot with a Green Tea.” Shania Allen.

‘Right away Miss Allen.” Danielle says.

Description: Danielle is a short dirty blonde guy. Glasses and no memorable characteristics. He is either? Seriously repressing personality traits. Or he is void of personality.

‘ I was thinking through what you told me last visit. If you were Homeless in a Pandemic? You couldn’t even join a gym to use a shower. As like a last resort option.” Shania Allen.

‘No I was completely locked out from civilization. No one wanted me. Not my family. Not my friends. I was stuck outside. After a fresh break up with my ex Kaylib. Trying to find sanity in an overwhelming situation. Here is some information on autistic homelessness.” Ashton Deroy

‘LGBTQ Risk for homelessness is high. Autistic risk for homelessness is also high. Especially with my previous integration to bad Kijiji style housing? Being a Gross failure. I was either being scammed? Or I was a low tolerated tenant.” Ashton Deroy.

‘That must of been hard. How did you deal with that?’ Shania Allen

‘Alot of fighting, hurt feelings and anger.” Ashton Deroy

I have begun drinking the tea with her.

She is outpacing me 3 cups to my 1.