‘It is not funny or clever to utilize Traditional behavior modifications on Autistic adults. It is dangerous. It is only Dangerous. You should be trained to walk away under conditions of extreme stress.” Physician by Scarborough Town Center.

‘I am not sorry. So you better fucking run!” By run I mean stay away. This is my message to? Family attempting reconciliation, Employers who over exploit in their own self Interest like Jennifer Boutilier at Giant Tiger. Or anyone attempting to dig in this area.

I grew up abused? Though it wasn’t always physical abuse. It was always there. The Contempt, the sarcasm from half assed relatives and the constant disrespect. I started doing things like pitching DougiesDiner.ca . That way I could measure where I stood? How does he reject the website and why? That will decide my response. Act accordingly to that. Yes it was a manipulation. I learned from the best. My own family.

This is relavent. Alex Minassian’s meltdown? Was triggered by radical misogyny. Mine will be triggered by Hurt/Heal Family relationships that are constant work, Over exploitation and being surrounded by contentious condescending invidiuals constantly. Especially people who feel they have a right to dictate how I behave. I would like to smash their heads off a wall and never stop! One of the worst traumas growing up was mom yelling at us like the Hired help.

There is a reason I targeted family with my concussion. That reason is semi-constant abusive behaviours . Why they would be the target of the next meltdown to? They do not stop. You need to stay away. Cause I promise I am not interested in Controlling my family anymore. I am interested in their suffering. Which I know is a lethal rabit hole to go into. I just feel you are perpetually doomed to stress me to insanity by means of your stupid personalities.

I am not asking family to stay away? Cause I considered this to be the best outcome. I am doing it because? In measuring my stress levels post-concussion. I don’t trust my family to be realistic on the dangers ouf Autism & Stress. Otherwise … Well they wouldn’t of pushed me to this point AGAIN would they? I have always been willing to participate in your organized society but you assholes I am related to. Always push me past the point I am reasonably comfortable with. Then tell me to chill. I promise a day is coming where I don’t chill and I ring your feeble geriatric necks! Or just stay away. You have done something to me stress wise where I am overworked overwhelmed and no longer experience love.

Best case scenario? By my next meltdown I don’t remember your names. Cause again Alek Minassian is a demonstration. Autistic meltdowns are dangerous. I am not only at risk for an autism meltdown. There is a chance I can’t stop it because … I wasn’t taught to respect my own limitations growing up. It’s called Traditional behavioural modification and it is an abysmal failure. I am now trying to fend off my own violence as a result. I can’t do this with regular visits to family. We can hope for success with anger management and meds but healthcare in Ontario is broken. Ooops Politics again! FUCKING MORONS I AM RELATED TO! DIE ALREADY FUCKERS!!! I tire of your censorship. If your death opens my free speech?Then your death is welcomed.

Email ashtonderoy@gmail.com related to this post.

Yes I have seen my death in the future of my own meltdowns. No society does not want me to talk about this. I will anyways. Cause this is an emergency. In general autistic stress is way mismanaged and it is dangerous. Imagine for a minute you have been stressed so near constantly ? You don’t cry the passing of relatives. You look forward to it…. I mourn this but only for the sole reason of losing the ability to love to a body/mind in survival mode.

Thank you for reading…

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