Written by Ashton Deroy

1. Cogeco has a Call Center in London Ontario.
2. They like to Place you on hold. They don’t neccessarily want to be placed on hold well you use the toilet. Song I played well they were on Hold.
3. The IVR and the agent confirmed my Phone # Belonged to someone named Susanne.
4. It is very easy to land in the wrong department with their Telephone robot’s dialtone menu.

Rule: try to get 10 minutes with an agent or in Queue transfers.

Call 1 ✅11:20 2/24/2026 Title: Tried to sell wooden jewelry
Call 2 ✅20:00 2/24/2026. Title: Who is Susanne and why does she have my #?
Call 3 ✅ 10:50 2/24/2026 Title: Please Hold and The Duck song.
Call 4 ✅ 10:06 2/24/26 Title: Chit chat, introduction & mind numbing #Confusion . Finished this call with ‘Driving through a tunnel & hang up.”
50/60 Completed.

Call 5✅ 10:22 3/06/26 Title: Confused old lady wants to watch UFC. At the end of the call I literally thanked the agent for participating in an Ashton Deroy Hallucination.

Why I knew how to do this? I have done Improv, Cyber Security and Market Research through cold contact. I have also been a Door-To-Door sales rep, Call center agent & Creative Writer/Stoner. I have absolutely no Discomfort starting a conversation with a stranger.

Don’t Sell or Advertise to me without my explicit permission. I am Disabled . When you decide? I am going to do a mass marketing message. Know that you are inviting any maniac through the door. My Prank calls are a mix of everything I wanted to do to someone on the telephone well I was employed at Convergys.