This is a very old picture of my Brother. I wanted to say Regardless of intentional or unintentional. Thank you for not showing up to Dad’s Third Wedding. Why am I saying this?

I attended, didn’t I? Yes.

Dear Kyle,

I am proud you didn’t attend Dad’s wedding. Unlike Matt Clarke I had no resentful feelings toward it. Whether you had to miss it or chose to. Thank you for taking the step. To not indulge an outdated family culture.

This was once again a family event. Where the success depends on people biting their tongues with each other. In fact, Tracy made it explicitly that. Despite the fact that I have asked my family to let any conflict between me and them to play out and perhaps lead to a no-contact situation.

The one thing Kyle is taking seriously? The Family can not get along together for long. Don’t overindulge the family’s social culture. Give it distance. Especially since our generation really hasn’t weighed into the family culture.

Thank you for not showing up

Sincerely

Ashton Deroy

In some capacity, someone had to say… ‘Ok, no more older people weddings.”

Proud it was Kyle.

Cause well the guy in the center here was doing his best ‘Ex Military Basketcase.” Act at the wedding. Then proceeds to say ‘Kyle Deroy doesn’t care about this family.” My reply ‘Should he, though?”

I mean with this. He is kind of encouraging for once. Kyle is saying ‘Yeah, just because the old people are doing something. Doesn’t mean you should go.” To his credit. Our older relatives on Mom and Dad’s side have been boring the living shit out of us for years. Everything is a sit down event!

Yeah, I took Kyle not attending my Father’s wedding very well. Cause consider this…

1. We didn’t have to get into a fight. We are still not completely cool. I don’t like how the family treats him better. I am resentful.
2. He is saying the events sometimes get boring or confrontational.
3. He is saying family isn’t everything.

In many ways, it affirms what I know about my brother’s better side. When one can? ‘Avoid danger, monotony, and boredom.” They should be obligated to do so. I can say a lot about my brother. I think he has a problem with drugs. I think he is too selfish for long term co-existance or even a sustained relationship. However, the fact that he was dignified enough to refuse being bored or aggravated by the inevitable confrontation in the family. Hey that’s not going to get criticism from me. Bravo to you!

Speaking to narratives I don’t buy into.

Kyle Deroy sometimes uses this narrative. He was the future Nurse in a house with a diabetic and an autistic. Bro You didn’t take care of everyone. Don’t worry, you weren’t actually the glue ever in your life. Many times, we couldn’t even get you out of a computer chair. You were not essential. You were stubborn, arrogant, and obstinate. To draw back to this picture.

I have talked to Steffanie. Here is the truth about Kyle.

The Reason people get in fights around him? He has people compete for his better interests and attention. It was why Steffanie and I would fight around Kyle. Not fight when he was gone. Until the point I started taking long walks to get the fuck away! Kyle Deroy is a user. He uses people. If he thinks he is in danger of being used to someone’s benefit? He magically becomes useless.

Stop fictionalizing the nurse thing. The only thing that prepped him for that? Was jabbing an insulin needle in mom’s ass once in a while. I did it. I don’t care. Just like Mom, Kyle is prone to this romanticized version of himself. It’s not true. You are just a narcissistic addict.

Oh, when I was 14. You journalled on me like you were going to document a crazy person. It’s Ironic I became the true narrator. Cause I am related to no Tech Communications Majors and 1 Engineer. I am the only one who can really shoot storytelling like this. I will probably be the narrative on our family culture most read. I am the Narrator. I am the Dictator. I am God.

I didn’t realize I had a big problem with Kyle.

Until, upon naming friends of mine, he had a problem with. He chose every friend on the Spectrum. I don’t know what makes a Nurse turn Ableist. All I know is I feel gross having a brother prejudiced against me.

Thank you for reading.

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My Guide to how I view my Mom.