Written by Ashton Deroy
original.
Dear Bel, Ashton.
‘A relationship that made me happy has ended, and I feel bereft. I’m in my early 60s, and we had each lost our spouses in recent years.
We’d been neighbours for a long time and knew each other’s spouses, which made me have reservations. Each of us was shocked and delighted as our friendship developed. We agreed that life is for those living.
Because of my family responsibilities and commitments – which he’s always been well aware of – I don’t enjoy the same level of freedom.
He can take off whenever he feels like it in his beloved camper van. This too wasn’t a problem, even when he’d go for weeks. We stayed in touch every day, he brought me presents from abroad, and our reunions were great.
But the van became our deal-breaker. And this spring, my friend met a woman called Jane who had also bought a camper van. Unbeknown to me, they enjoyed several weeks away over the summer, a fact he omitted to tell me but which I stumbled across on social media.
When confronted, he said he wished to not give either of us up – maintaining she was simply company for him to travel with, coming home to me. He told me she’d tagged along and that he certainly didn’t want a relationship. But he also said if I’d only bought a van this situation would not have arisen!
So I ended our relationship only about six weeks ago. “
‘Stop… Shut up and I have something to say.
Loonie Bel Mooney apparently couldn’t give good, concise advice on this, so let me.
Honesty is not built at a distance. It is built in close quarters. Which is why? I don’t believe in long-distance relationships. Now, a lot of people will say, ‘If you have a strong relationship? You should be able to survive some time apart.” These are older people. The Divorce rate of Millennial parents was estimated around 30%, and honestly. I think it skews higher click here for more. Cause of bullshit advice like the older generations would give.
I hate this advice from the original link because it’s not true. You build the strength of relationships based on time together. Not your time apart. The minute a relationship becomes long-distance. Even though you know this person in real life. The most you can get out of the relationship? Is telephone and internet emotional or viewable picture pornography? It’s not real!
It’s like the Army man I grew up near. He went on a tour of Afghanistan. When he came back? His wife was having an affair with his best friend because he was in close proximity. That’s actually how it goes. That is reality. The army guy is dead now. PTSD and external stressors are a hell of a thing.
If you leave your relationship unguarded for long periods of time? It slowly begins to decay. Don’t have long-term hobbies away from your partner, don’t justify stupid working conditions that always have you over 100km apart & don’t assume things are working when you have no time together. By definition a couple that is not spending time together? Is slowly suffocating their relationship. There is no way around this.
Reasons like this? Are a big reason why I would have never opted to join the army. That and I am nuts. Cause you can’t have a relationship over 100km apart. It is just not realistic. As I tell every Army man? Be ready for the very real scenario of coming home to an empty house. No wife, no kids, just you, your job and the bottle/bong. Relationships are not invincible. They require constant care, love, and attention. Anyone trying to tell you otherwise? Is just lying.” Ashton Deroy is not a psych, preacher, or garbage self-help author. I am just using common sense. Can you physically water your plants from 100km away? Why would a relationship be different? It’s still a living thing that requires constant attention and love.
For me, it was my ex-significant other working at Belwood Lodge & Camp, well, I was in Belleville Ontario. That slowly killed our relationship. Whether I was there. Or not there. It killed our relationship. Cause we needed to learn to make things work with the real hum-drum life of everyday working & living together. Which we never did… Life isn’t an adventure. It’s a mundane routine.
Don’t let the unrealistic relationships of rich people? Or Psycho professionals influence this. Cause they have no better relationships. They are also constantly cheating & getting divorced. Don’t embrace long-distance relationships; they do not work.
Why did I write this? I am protesting Daily Mail for silencing a female Social Media Profile. On the way out of the driveway in the camper van? The woman who wrote Bel should have dumped his polygamist hippie camping loving a** !
For The Love of Belleville. 
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